A Message to Students

There is a great deal of confusion today about the relationship of love to sexuality. The general feeling is that we show we love someone by having sex with them. I love you so much I can't wait, is a common statement. But in reality there is a great difference between love and sex. This message becomes especially confusing to those who struggle with same-sex sexual attractions.

Everyone needs love and attention from a person of the same gender, especially while growing up. Lack of this affirmation may cause a deep sense of emptiness inside. Also, growing up with physical, verbal, or sexual abuse makes people feel worthless and unlovable. When attractions occur for persons of the same sex, they reflect a need for love rather than a need for sexual activity. It is always a mistake to believe that having sex will fill the love need.

If confusion over your sexuality exists within you, remember you are not alone. Confusion about sexuality is common during teenage years. And society and the church are only adding to the confusion today. Some say people are born gay, while others say they are not. Thousands of people who were told they were homosexual and could be happy if they just accepted that fact have found the gay life to be less than satisfying. Some people have sought answers to their questions. They discover ways to have their needs for love met that truly satisfy.

You do have a choice about how to deal with unwanted homosexual attractions. One choice is to try to understand your sexual feelings by experimenting with different kinds of sexual activity. But instead of finding an answer, most people who experiment find that sexual activity confuses them even more. Or, you can choose to contact a Christian ministry such as Exodus Global Alliance and talk with those who understand what you are going through. You do not have to experiment with sex to find the answers to your questions.

If you feel sexually attracted to someone of the same gender, please do not call yourself a homosexual, or allow anyone else to do that either. There is a great difference between feeling attracted to someone of the same gender and feeling you are then destined to become sexual with them. Attractions for people of the same gender may not go away by themselves. It is not wise to ignore these feelings, hoping that you are merely going through a phase that will pass away.

Shame may keep you from sharing your feelings with anyone. Young people who have experienced sexual abuse already carry a great deal of shame. Others feel that talking about sexual things is very shameful. Always remember that you are not a bad person if you have been sexually abused or struggle with sexual confusion. You have the right to ask questions about these things without further shame or fear of judgment.

Answers to the questions you may have are available from people who have had the same questions about their sexuality. There is hope for change. Many who once lived a homosexual life have left it behind after honestly dealing with the root need for love. They found answers to their questions in the safe and accepting atmosphere of ministries that exist for this very purpose.

Unfortunately, Christian ministries are not advertised or promoted in the usual school counselor's office. Research will be needed to make the connection you need. Be sure to contact us for further information.